This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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