sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize