EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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