are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is wine microwaveable?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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