I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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