I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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