we're blogging at a bar
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
