is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
