Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
