He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
