How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
