If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
