Apparently you make a good broom.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize