I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
