Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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