Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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