people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
