just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
