Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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