like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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