Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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