break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
