What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
