Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize