ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
