I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
