we made out on top of his cat.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
