Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
