What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize