You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize