You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
