im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
