that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
