well you can't waste a boner
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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