I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
