i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
