why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
