who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
