i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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