you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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