Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize