are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
