i think i have two assholes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
