I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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