Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
