Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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