the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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