Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
