Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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