New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I see more hoeing in ur future
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