So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
