he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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