i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
