we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
