I'm gonna have a badass scar
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
