Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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