So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
