so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
