my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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