I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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