Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
