i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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