The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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