and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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