i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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