Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
