SEEEEXXX PLEASE
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize